making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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