so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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