so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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