There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If that was your dad, he is hot
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
