I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
