someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
