the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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