So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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