she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize