I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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