maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
