I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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