Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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