I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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