remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
