Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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