I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
