those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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