i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
