In America we eat man semen.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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