am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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