so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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