y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
