I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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