The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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