you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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