Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
