Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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