idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
