You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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