I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
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how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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