i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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