the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
