you didnt know i had herpes?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think a kid would responsible me up
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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