In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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