she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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