update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's paint friendship bongs
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
