About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
