I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
