Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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