That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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