the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
