You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Farmville is her only friend.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
