Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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