Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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