I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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