too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
