But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
