Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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