she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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