shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
