Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
