The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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