hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
