Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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