Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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