Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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