I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
