my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she looked like the before picture.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
