I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
