brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
