He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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