nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
