Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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