omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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