Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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