after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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