i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize