Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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