I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
