i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
