Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
